I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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