Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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