she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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