Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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