i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
