She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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