downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
