I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
