I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize