I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
