i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
