If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
