we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
