I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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