I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
