definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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