I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
