Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
