shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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