I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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