Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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