we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
