what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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