All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
