I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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