Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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