Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
