please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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