At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize