Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
