Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
