I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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