did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i think my mom watched the whole time
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.