if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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