Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my poor anus
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.