where does the pee come out of this thing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize