Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
