I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
