How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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