that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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