Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
