Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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