we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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