can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Are my feet made of real feet?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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