so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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