I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
