My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
