David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
