so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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