That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
