Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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