I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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