You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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