At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
