My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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