plz talk dirty to me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
