I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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