just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
