I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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