So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
