My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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