He uses pillows to masturbate.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
