Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
