He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
