I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
