Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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