Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
