do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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